The Antidote for Isolation
by Wendy Keller, blogger, writer, mother, human
It happens to everyone: you feel alone. Like what you’re dealing with is SO overwhelming, SO traumatic that no one can possibly understand. Like you can’t take another step. Like you’re all alone in the world and you want to just lie down and give up.
Don’t.
In those moments that you are feeling most isolated by your pain – or anguish – that’s exactly the moment to “rest on the world.” That is, reach out and let the world support you. It’s hard for people who were raised to be independent, to stand on their own two feet, or who were taught to be strong despite any adversity. I had to learn this hard lesson myself after my children died in a car accident. But somewhere along the path, we all seem to be forced to realize this stark truth:
You Can’t Get There Alone. And that’s OK.
When it’s your turn to suffer, turn to others. If you can’t trust anyone you know (or don’t want to try!) then trust complete strangers. Go to this Facebook page www.Facebook.com/WendyKellerCompassionPage and pour out your heavy heart. Go somewhere like www.ExperienceProject.com and tell a group of strangers what you’re dealing with. You can do it anonymously.
And then, watch the miracle that happens.
People you don’t even know and never will will suddenly take a moment out of their lives to encourage you, to offer you comfort, to tell you they’ve been down the same path and to hold on. It’s uncanny! But the human range of emotions happens to ALL of us during the course of a lifetime, whether you’re Donald Trump or Angelina Jolie or a little street kid living in poverty in Mumbai. And because the same emotions (if not the exact same experiences) happen to all humans alike, then everyone can relate to what you’re going through and offer you a little encouragement and help to get through it.
Take the advice and bask in the encouragement.
You deserve it.
And when you’ve survived this – and you will – remember this moment next time you see a stranger suffering something similar. Reach out to them and pay back the good that’s been done to you when you were down. If you choose to see it this way, the world is full of decent, loving, caring, compassionate, giving people. You just have to sometimes seek so you can find them.
Hang in there. It gets easier.
When you’re ready, please help yourself to this comforting, helpful eBook:
“The Top Ten Tips to Coping with Crisis”
Grace says:
Hi, I read your words and wish they were enough to encourage me. I was an independent person who now needs people to get about as I lose balance due to a sort of vertigo. I need to find someone to assist me with walking outside so maybe my brain can learn to compensate as my eyes and head cannot process things as it normally did before. I cry (normal!)when I ask for help and get a psychiatric evaluation instead. I am tired because I really cannot find anyone to help. Thanks for listening.
Wendy says:
Hi Grace,
I went from an active mother of two to a woman in a wheelchair when a car accident killed my kids and left me extremely injured. It was months before I got in a wheelchair for more than a few moments! I remember the helplessness, the anger, the pain – physical and mental – I felt. Most of all, I felt trapped because my body was forcing me to be dependent when all my life I’d been fiercely independent! So I can relate a bit to what you’ve written. And I can only tell you what I learned from my own experience of being handicapped for nine months plus: It’s a beautiful world in which one person helps another for no reason other than kindness; the world is overflowing with good, kind, helpful people; we who are “victims” can choose how we handle the matter; and in the moments when help is not immediately forthcoming, there is time to contemplate what is left instead of what is missing. There are always people better and worse off than I am/you are. It is humbling because it is so beautiful.
Sending you love and my best wishes for peace and acceptance.
Wendy