Wendy's Blog

What to do if your plans go SPLAT!

by Wendy Keller, www.WendyKeller.com

So let’s say you finally figure out what you want…want to do with your life, your career.  Or what you want to own. Or whom you want to spend the rest of your life with.   And then suddenly, SPLAT!  Your life hits a brick wall. Everything you thought was right is now over.  Just like that.

Plan B must be found, whether you like it or not. And chances are, if you’re human, you do not.

Does hitting the proverbial brick wall mean you were heading the wrong direction?

What about the common rah-rah that if you hit a brick wall, it’s just life testing to see if you will figure out a way over it?

Here’s my theory: a brick wall splat is life saying politely, “Ahem. Now that I have your attention, let’s take a moment to think this through.”

I hate that.  But if you mix in a little Buddhism, a little Present Moment Awareness stuff, rather than just pick yourself up and start trying to chisel through the wall, or worse, giving up and walking away with your tail between your legs, then what would have?  You’d have maturity.  Intelligence.

The only way you’ll know if this Splat! means “Wrong way, pal!” or “Try harder to prove you really want it” or some message in between is if you..heaven forbid…step back and look at this obstacle – and the goal toward which you were rushing headlong – from a peaceful place, from another perspective, from a wider vantage point.

Of course, there are lots of ways to gain perspective.  Ask wise friends.  Journal about it.  Sit quietly (preferably in nature) and review your actions and the outcome you’ve attained.  Breathe.  Let your brain flit.

Once you have a broader perspective, you may discover that the brick wall is just a little retainer wall in the garden of life.  Or you may find it’s walled you in – or out – of your objective.  But whatever you discover, with perspective comes a clear idea of what to do next.

You already know what to do now. Give that voice space and freedom to speak. 






Posted in Hope by Wendy.

    • Heather,

      A wise woman once told me, “Just take the next most obvious step.” You don’t have to know the destination, how it will all turn out, which is right or wrong, etc. What one little thing could you do in one little direction? That’s all that’s required of you. She also said, “If no decision is obvious, no decision is necessary.” I like both of those. Try it and let me know how it works for you.


  1. Hi Wendy,
    I’ve looked at this particular subject several times, wondering whether to post or not, mainly because I wouldn’t want anyone to consider that I was moaning about my situation or looking for sympathy, of which neither would be true.
    Approx 14 years ago I was leading a relatively normal life. Granted I’d been married and divorced twice (which is another long story) but at the time I was in a ‘steady’ relationship with a school-teacher until things turned really sour and I had to end the relationship. Within approx six months I woke up to get ready for work one morning and instead of going to work I ended up in hospital with an asthma attack. I had suffered with this until I was 15 and then grew out of it. I was now 49 and it had suddenly, without warning, returned with a vengeance. After treatment and a spell in hospital I returned to work, but then two weeks later the same thing happened and after this occurrence my life changed completely. I could no longer work, I found it nearly impossible to climb a flight of stairs, I could no longer play sport which I had done two or three times a week and eventually I lost my job. I developed depression, which looking back I suppose was natural, but I suppose the main loss to me was my independence and self-esteem. I had to rely on state handouts to be able to survive. I had to move into a flat (another long story) out of the area that I knew and where all my friends lived and whilst living there several friends died over a six month period, culminating with the death of my mother. Definitely ‘Brick Wall’ I think!
    But somehow life, mysteriously, can spring surprises. After my mother died I moved myself into sheltered accommodation – this is a building with around forty flats under one roof, for people over 55 years of age, with a common lounge area, laundrette, hair-dressing salon etc. This was in an area near my friends.
    By this time I was 56 and most of the residents were a lot older than me. Since moving here, which is now nearly seven years ago, I have achieved so much. I gained my food hygiene certificate, so I now get involved with Lunch Clubs and Breakfast Clubs. I organise events in the scheme, I have passed an Open University openings course on the subject of ‘Understanding Health’, I was runner-up in a national competition to find a ‘Silver-Surfer of the year, and I get tremendous daily satisfaction for helping others in this building who are not as fortunate as myself.
    I guess what I’m trying to say is that when ‘the door closes’ or you hit that ‘brick wall’ it doesn’t mean that something wont turn up to alter your life and make it worthwhile again. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help, because there are a lot of beautiful people out there who will help you turn it all around. Don’t ever think that you are all alone, because you are not.
    I have now been diagnosed with COPD and some days I really struggle, but there are some wonderful people in my life that have been so good to me. I have had to change my direction in life, but my life is still filled with satisfaction and lots of love. Don’t ever give up on yourself!

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