Wendy's Blog

You don’t have to suffer forever if someone you love has left the relationship!

by Wendy Keller, just another human who has loved and lost

Have you had your heart broken by someone you love? Does someone not want to be in a relationship with you anymore?  The exercise below works…if you work it.  You’ll probably experience a lot of emotion the first time you do it.  Each time you find yourself feeling sad about your lost relationship, do it again.  It will help speed the healing process.  (P.S. – Doing it just once will probably not suffice.)

Here’s an exercise that will help you heal your heart, release your lost love and learn to be kind…to yourself

Instructions: please do this exercise when you are in a completely private space and you have time to fully process these steps. You may want to set a box of tissues beside you before you begin.

  Step One: Sit down with your feet firmly on the floor.  Take a few deep breaths to center yourself. Feel your feet connecting with the ground. Notice your lungs filling and emptying with air for 5-10 breaths.

  Step Two:  Bring the person you love but lost to mind. Picture them sitting across from you in exactly the same position in which you are sitting.  Make this image as vivid in your mind as you can.  (It’s OK if you cry now or at any other point during this process. It’s also OK if you don’t.) In your mind’s eye, “watch” them for a few breaths.  Let your emotions come to the surface.  See them clearly.

  Step Three: Now you will conduct a conversation with this person. It’s very important that you speak aloud to them, with your eyes staying shut.  Start off with, “__(Name)_, I’ve brought you here today because I have some important things to say to you.  I need you to just sit there and listen to me.”  Then, as crazy as it seems, tell them how you feel.  Pour out everything you want to say in real life but cannot.  Anger, sadness, fear, loss, whatever you’re feeling.  Let your emotions take over, but stay seated.  Eventually, your emotions will wane. You’ll start to feel calmer.  Emotions never last as long as we fear they will.

  Step Four: When you’re done expressing your feelings, say this:  “__(Name)__, I love you.  I miss you.  But this is goodbye. In this moment, I release you.”  Take your fingers and make a scissor motion, cutting an invisible silver cord that connects your heart to the heart of the person you once loved.  Watch the cord retract back into their heart and then imagine it retracting into yours. Put your hand over your heart where the cord that once connected the two of you has just coiled back in.  You are symbolically sealing in your love energy.  It is now returning to you, ready to be used again whenever you’re ready.

  Step Five: Wish that person well.  Tell them you hope they will be happy, that their family will be well and healthy, etc.  With whatever good wishes you can think of, “‘bless” that person and wish them a long, good, peaceful, happy life.

  Step Six: Now wish the same for yourself.  A long, good, peaceful, happy life.  Take a few deep breaths and just sit with how different you feel now.

– The End-

That’s it.  You may need to repeat this more or less often, any time you feel emotions gurgle up about that person, but return and do it again as needed.  If you apply this simple exercise, you’ll find your heart healing and growing stronger faster than you ever thought possible. Promise!


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“When ‘I do’ becomes ‘I don’t!'”

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