by Wendy Keller, mother, inspirational speaker
I’ve been thinking a lot in the last few days about those Evil Twins, “Blame” and “Regret”. Seems to me like those of us who’ve had a bit of a tough time in life tend to take on one or the other as if such dark emotions were some kind of life raft. Maybe they are in the first few months and we need to cling to those feelings, but really, after a while, they become concrete ankle weights when you’re trying to tread water. You gotta let them go, no matter what happened. It’s for the sake of your own survival.
You gotta let Blame & Regret go, no matter what happened. It’s for the sake of your own survival.
Easier said than done, right? Maybe not. You’ll have to forgive everyone involved, including yourself. Here’s the part that whacked me right between the eyes. I met a man last night who is a financial planner for extremely affluent people. He gave me his business card and suggested I needed his services. I told him my old tired story of how I had lost everything in a fire and was still rebuilding. I think of myself as a victim. I’m doing well, I’m on my way, but I’ve still got a ways to go…and that’s when the last piece of this puzzle fell into place for me. Wham! The fire was in November 2007. Get over it already, Wendy!
For a few weeks, I’d been noticing people around me blaming other people and circumstances for how their life is right now; I’d been listening to myself express regret (for not handling things differently after the fire, etc.); it’s crystal clear: letting go of these negative feelings is a decision that must be made if we are to have a more peaceful life, walk a happier path, allow abundances of love, joy, prosperity and serenity into our lives.
It’s crystal clear now: it is a decision that must be made if we are to have a more peaceful life, walk a happier path, allow abundances of love, joy, prosperity and serenity into our lives.
Which brings us to “How?” right? Like the sages say, this is about self-observation. Just like I heard myself with that financial planner guy, you have to catch yourself saying or thinking blame- or regret-oriented thoughts and immediately, instantly, right there replace them with positive thoughts. Sounds so hokey, doesn’t it? Probably because hokey things, simple things, are the things that work.
Listen to yourself for the rest of today. Are you blaming yourself or circumstances or someone else for the sorry life you have now? Are you mired in regret that you did or didn’t do something in the past? IT DOESN’T MATTER if it “REALLY” is someone else’s fault. It’s your life now.
You can’t have a better future until you release yourself to have a better past. No one ever won a race looking over their shoulder at the person behind them! Let your past simmer down. Stop talking obsessively about. Stop regretting it. Stop blaming yourself and others. Stop carrying it around – it’s too heavy for you and you deserve a break.
You can’t have a better future until you release yourself to have a better past.
Start out slow. This takes a little practice. But listen to yourself like an objective observer for the next few days. When you retell old stories, or rethink old thoughts, watch for Blame and Regret and make a conscious decision to let those things go. The past is so yesterday! Infuse your thoughts and speech with sunnier feelings and you’ll start to find your world shifting. Promise.
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