I am 45 years of age and I have become an adult orphan. My mother suffered through cancer and I saw her during her hospice care at home shortly before she passed in Mar 2007. My Grandmother lived a good long life but, passed suddenly in her sleep July 2014. My father passed away Mar 2015. A childhood friend that introduced me to my fiancee passed away April 2015. The most painful of all of this loss was finding out my father committed suicide. The pain is nothing like I have ever felt before but, once I received some answers as to what was going on with him I have started to understand. My father had been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer after already battling with other health issues for quite some time. I wouldn’t want to see my father suffer for the sake of having a him a little while longer. When I am very sad or somber I soak in a hot bath while burning candles, incense and playing peaceful or healing music. I do my best to focus on the wonderful memories I have and be thankful I have those instead of being sad there wont be more.