Every human being knows what’s right for him or herself.
- We all know that when we or someone we love is sick, we want them well.
- We all know that when the car is broken, we need it fixed.
- We all know that when a relationship is damaged, it needs to be repaired or released.
We know exactly how our lives should go…don’t we?
Have you ever had something “bad” happen and later, looking back, realized it was actually for the best?
Maybe it was something dramatic, like you left for work 10 minutes late, totally stressed, and later realized there was an accident…that could have been you.
Perhaps someone you thought was “The One” turned away from your love and later, maybe much later, you found out that it was actually a lucky break. Or that heartbreak allowed you to find the Real One and you are with that person now.
Most of our lives have at least one story of such a “near miss”. At the time, the circumstance seems frustrating, irritating, incredibly sad. Later on, you realize that something good came from it. Even “super bad” things, like someone dying or some terrible disease or trauma, likely have a silver lining if you’re willing to look for it and accept it when you see it. The thing is, the silver lining can only be seen in retrospect, sometimes years or even decades later.
I wish they weren’t so hard to see at the time. Don’t you?
Here’s the inevitable realization we come to as we mature: all things pass. What seems so wonderful or so tragic at the moment, well, eventually the emotion around it subsides. That subsiding is not “good” or “bad”, it just is. But the very realization that everything passes IS the lesson in itself.
It means that there’s really not much value in freaking out about it; in getting extra stressed out and making wild, emotional decisions. As creatures of habit, we are always trying to manage life for ourselves. We want to be in control. How great that would be! We could make things so much easier! We all crave the power to immediately get rid of any whiff of pain or discomfort or annoyance. Think about it: do you want the pain-killer that promises to work in 20 minutes or the one that promises to work in 30?
But what if, just for a moment, we could calm ourselves down and recognize that there’s a chance – a pretty good one – that whatever’s happening in this precise moment IS for our ultimate good? What if this circumstance, in this moment, CAN lead you to growth, maturity, and becoming a better, wiser, calmer, more loving, more compassionate person? A higher version of your true self?
Whatever you’re going through is a gateway. You can fight all you want, but you’re going to go through it.
It’s hard to stay angry, scared or frustrated when you realize things are 100% likely to turn out right in the end. Choosing to take the long view of things, and realize that by being present, in this moment, with all its joys or pain, will lead you more quickly to clarity. That clarity will allow you to experience more peace and make wiser choices now.