My childhood best friend is getting a divorce after nearly 25 years. I met her husband for the first time on their wedding day – and have disliked him every second since.
I’ve been single-again 20+ years. Only a few times have I thought, “This is The One.” When things go wrong, it’s pretty easy for all of us to slide into generalizations about the opposite gender, generate low self-esteem about ourselves, or hear those little voices in our heads that insists everything I did and said wrong.
On the flip side, it’s equally easy to make huge broad complaints about the lack of qualified potential partners wherever you happen to live. It’s astonishing to me, but over the years, people everywhere in the world have complained, “All the men in my city are _________.” (Or women!) Ironically, people from every city tend to make these generalizations. Statistically, that just cannot be true now, can it?
It would be easy to switch hurt to anger or bitterness, but that serves no one. Or to announce that we will never date again (imagine placing the back of your hand dramatically cross your troubled brow when you do this!) The truth of the matter is simply this: We were brave enough to risk our heart, and it got bashed. Again.
A lot of the women who write to me on my blogs and on my Facebook Fan Page tell me stories of lost loves. Here’s what I have to say to myself and all of us:
AT LEAST WE WERE BRAVE ENOUGH TO TRY!
The heck with feeling sad. Loving someone is NEVER wrong. Love is the sparkly fairy dust of the Universe. Sometimes, other people love us back. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes, they did but don’t anymore. Sometimes we’re the ones who quit.
If you’re feeling angry, hurt, resentful, rejected, bitter, lonely, cynical or jaded about your romantic life, remember this: You showed courage. You gave your heart. You did the best you could with what you knew then. And you’re still breathing. Your heart is still beating. It appears you’re likely to live another day. The world is a big place, with lots of people in it. Chances are very high that if you give yourself some time to heal, and then permission to look around again, your heart will find someone new to love someday. Stay brave!