You know there’s a bully in your brain if you live your life in fear and dread of that little voice inside your head. You know which one I mean – the one that keeps pecking at you, picking on you, telling you everything you’re doing wrong and reminding you of everything you’ve ever done wrong.
Identifying and exterminating that bully is your best bet for freeing up a whole heck of a lot of mental energy, optimism, and ability to focus on attracting what you do want in your life.
For some people, that bully is the voice of a harsh or disapproving parent or older sibling. For others, it’s a special little fiend they cribbed together all by themselves of every little wicked, unkind or unconscious barb that has ever been thrown their way.
If it’s time to get rid of your bully, here’s Step One:Continue reading →
by Wendy Keller, sometimes dumper, sometimes dumpee
I had dinner recently with a girlfriend whose boyfriend of 2.5 years just dumped her. To her, the decision was completely out of the blue. Now she’s wondering if he’s already with someone else. (I doubt it.) She wishes he would just tell her why. (He has.) She asks me when she’ll stop crying. (No one knows, but likely sooner than she thinks.)
In the early stages of being dumped, the only thing you can do is pour over your feelings. Talk about it to friends. Write about your feelings. Go through the roller coaster. Cry a lot. Express grief, sadness, anger, confusion – all that stuff. That’s normal. That’s healthy.But the key word… Continue reading →
by Wendy Keller, mother of 3, 1 child still living
Recently, I heard my former husband describing the circumstances surrounding the car accident that killed our first two children way back in 1991. He was not severely injured, so his perspective is one of someone who could walk around the hospital, see things from an upright perspective and interact with hospital staff. I was flat on my back and critically injured.
That got me to thinking about perspectives.
Perhaps there’s a circumstance in your life that you just know happened a certain way. Someone said or did something that hurt you and you recall every single detail. No one could ever convince you otherwise. But did you…Continue reading →
Freedom. Humans long for it, fight for it, die for it. If your peace of mind is constantly pecked at by frustration, freedom from frustration is your constant longing. We just have gotten so tired of beating our fists against the wall that we’re not noticing a window is open a crack. Some people resist how life works being bound like a cat on a leash; others resign themselves to sadness, pain and frustration and meekly accept a life of “quiet desperation.”
It doesn’t have to be like that.
There’s a lot we can to do reclaim happiness and peace than we sometimes allow ourselves to attempt. Frustration is a signal.
No one is denying your right to feel frustrated when things aren’t going your way. I’m not saying financial troubles, physical pain and other stressors aren’t real or that you’re not entitled to feel the feelings. I’m suggesting frustration is a signal. It’s there to force us to reevaluate our lives and choices and make new, healthier decisions; to grow emotionally or spiritually; and to build compassion and tolerance for ourselves and others. There’s often more we can to do help ourselves relieve frustration than we allow. It comes down to this: Continue reading →
by Wendy Keller, former dog owner, regular flosser
Have you ever been in an argument with someone and you get this frustrating feeling that you’re digging a deeper hole with every word you say? Yeah, me too.
It occurs to me that sometimes, we do that in other aspects of our lives also. Like when something isn’t working and we keep trying the same thing over and over again.
There’s a restaurant in my town that sometimes has the bad chef but usually, the good one. On the occasions I get the bad chef, I somehow think that taking another bite will maybe make it taste better. Never has worked yet. Never will.
